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If you’ve ever thought, “How hard could two under two really be?” I have news for you: you either already have them and are currently reading this while stress-eating a granola bar in the bathroom, or you’re still pregnant with your second and blissfully unaware of the storm that’s coming.

I’ve done it twice now — once with my two sons who were 18 months apart and tandem breastfed for almost a year (yes, I am a saint, thank you for noticing), and now again with my daughter, who is 4 months old. My boys are now 3.5 and 2, and my daughter is living her best life as the adored baby sister.

It’s… a lot. But I’ve learned a thing or two about surviving the chaos with at least some of my sanity intact. And I’m here to share the real deal — not the Pinterest-perfect version with matching outfits and artisanal snacks, but the practical, battle-tested mom hacks that keep the ship afloat.

1. The Baby Carrier Is Not Optional

If you have two kids under two and you don’t own a wrap or carrier, I’m convinced you’re either magic or you never leave the house. A carrier is non-negotiable.

For me, the Moby wrap was a lifesaver in the newborn months — soft, cozy, and perfect for when baby just wanted to be attached to me 24/7. When my shoulders cried uncle, I switched to the Infantino 4-in-1 carrier for more structure and back support. You may need multiple since they will get dirty with spit up and blowouts. I had 3 Moby wraps and 2 carriers.

Why is a carrier so essential? Because toddlers don’t care that you just had a baby. They still want snacks, attention, and for you to watch them climb the couch for the hundredth time. Being able to strap the baby to you while freeing up your arms is the only reason I could keep both alive some days.

2. Double Stroller and Wagon: The Dynamic Duo

If you think you can just “make do” with one stroller and carry one kid, bless your heart. Invest in a double stroller and a wagon — future you will thank you.

We used the Evenflo Xpand Travel System when my daughter was a newborn. Smooth ride, easy to fold, and it didn’t take up my entire trunk. As the boys got older, the Evenflo Pivot Xplore stroller wagon became my go-to for outings — roomy, sturdy, and perfect for hauling toddlers plus their mountain of snacks.

Pro tip: add the Momcozy stroller attachment so you can actually have a drink holder that fits your giant water bottle and a place for your phone. This is gold.

There’s also a wonderful rechargeable stroller fan for those hot days that’s a must here in Texas.

3. Time Management: Or at Least Pretend You Have It

Here’s the truth: you won’t really manage time, because toddlers operate on chaos time. But you will get better at juggling.

Nap schedules become your religion. Meal prep becomes your side hustle. And you’ll learn the fine art of showering in under 5 minutes. I’ve even mastered eating lunch while nursing one baby and handing fruit to a toddler with my foot. Olympic-level multitasking.

For where the baby is napping I recommend this bassinet for the first few months. Having the 4moms mamaroo swing, this Jolly Jumper, and a nice high chair will also make your life so much easier.

4. Self-Care Right After the Youngest Child

I know, I know — everyone says “take care of yourself first,” but when you have two under two, that’s adorable and unrealistic. My advice? Take care of yourself right after the baby’s needs are met.

That means:

Eating something with actual protein before you’re dizzy.

Drinking water before the headache hits.

Sitting down for 3 minutes to breathe before tackling Mount Laundry.

If you don’t, burnout will hit faster than your toddler can unroll a full pack of toilet paper.

5. Don’t Forget About Your Husband (Ha!)

Remember him? The guy who helped create all these small humans? It’s easy to forget he exists when you’re knee-deep in diapers, but trust me — keeping your relationship alive is worth the effort. Even small things like 10 minutes of conversation without screens, or a shared coffee before the kids wake up, can make a big difference.

And yes, sometimes that conversation will be 90% logistics about poop schedules and grocery lists. It still counts.

6. The Overpacking Rule

When you go anywhere with 2 under 2, pack like you’re going on an expedition. Because in a way, you are.

Make sure to get the best diaper bag/backpack that doesn’t look too girly since your hubby will be sporting it quite often (hopefully)!

You will need:

Changes of clothes for everyone — yes, YOU too.

Diapers and wipes for a small army.

Bottles for all babies, plus extra drinks and snacks.

Socks, shoes, undies (because accidents happen).

Wipes, plastic bags, and stain remover.

Someone will spit up, puke, pee, poop, or spill something. Probably in the car. Probably when you’re already late.

To help a toddler have less potty accidents on the road or out and about I recommend getting this foldable travel potty seat with small potty liners and keep wipes handy in the stroller/wagon.

7. No Car Snacks (If You Can Help It)

Eating in the car sounds like a great time-saver… until you realize you’ve created a traveling ant buffet. If you must feed them in the car, stick to dry, low-mess snacks like rice cakes or veggie straws. Otherwise, just… don’t.

8. Entertainment = Prevention

If toddlers are bored, they will destroy something. This is a universal law. Keep them entertained, especially on outings or during that witching hour before dinner.

At home, keep toys in bins so they can be put away quickly (and so you can teach your kids to clean up to the “Clean Up Song” before they can even pronounce “responsibility”). Big toys? Keep them on shelves. Less mess, less chaos, fewer Lego-to-foot injuries.

We caved and got an Amazon fire tablet for the car so the kids aren’t screaming in the back seat on long rides. It has a 2 YEAR free replacement guarantee! It’s indestructible with a thick cover on it and getting a screen protector will help too.

9. Ask for Help (And Actually Accept It)

If you have a relative who can come over once a week or take the older kid for a few hours, take the offer. Even if you just use the time to shower and eat in peace, it’s worth it.

If no one’s available, get creative:

Baby in a bouncer or car seat in the bathroom while you shower.

Toddler in the tub with fun baby bath toys while you wash your hair.

Bath with the toddler while baby watches — yes, it takes longer, but it works.

For bathing baby you will need this special mesh baby bathtub seat some bamboo washcloths and gentle baby wash. These baby towels will come in handy as well. As far as nail care, this nail trimmer is the best. A good diaper rash cream should be applied after you’ve wiped all the baby’s little rolls and folds down to avoided chafing.

Get 2 diaper pails and 2 changing tables if possible since multiple kids in diapers will produce a lot more dirty diapers, sometimes at the same time! Plus it’s more convenient to have several fully equipped changing stations around the house.

As far as diapers and wipers go we always used Huggies brand diapers because they are thicker, softer and less plastic feeling which means more absorbent (more potential blowouts contained) and less diaper rash prone. The Kirkland brand or Honest brand wipes are the best.

10. Tandem Breastfeeding Survival Setup

If you’re nursing two kids at once, set yourself up for success. Create a nursing zone that has:

Nursing pillow, your breast pump, lumbar support pillows and blankets.

Toddler-safe snacks (think string cheese, apple slices, veggie pouches).

A large water bottle for you.

Easy-open containers so you’re not wrestling packaging while holding two humans.

For bottles, I swear by MAM bottles — easy to clean, durable, and the perfect size.

11. Let Go of the Perfectionism

Before I had kids, my house was spotless. Now? Let’s just say I’ve learned to prioritize people over perfection. The messy house, the crying, the toys everywhere — that’s all normal.

Your kids are the perfection now. Not the throw pillows.

12. Guard Your Mental Health

Having two needy kids is hard. It’s not a sprint; it’s a marathon. When the 2-under-2 phase passes, things get a little easier — but then comes potty training, communication struggles, and other fun surprises.

Find a mom friend, sibling, or non-spouse person to vent to. It’s crucial to have a safe space for your frustrations.

My Top 10 Tips for Simplifying Life and Reducing Mental Load

Because “overwhelmed” is basically the default setting in this stage:

1. Meal prep in bulk — Cook once, eat twice.

2. Rotate toys — Fewer out at once = less mess.

3. Double up on essentials — Keep wipes and diapers in every room.

4. Use grocery pickup — Why wrestle two toddlers in a store?

5. Automate bills and reorders — One less thing to think about.

6. Set up a family calendar — Color-code for sanity.

7. Teach kids small chores early — Toddlers love to “help.”

8. Designate a daily quiet time — Even if they don’t nap.

9. Declutter regularly — Less stuff = less to clean.

10. Lower your expectations — You’re not failing; you’re parenting tiny humans.

Life with two under two is chaotic, exhausting, and not for the faint of heart. But it’s also fleeting, magical, and full of moments you’ll treasure (even if they’re sandwiched between diaper blowouts and toddler tantrums).

Just remember — you’re doing an incredible job, even if it doesn’t feel like it.

And when all else fails? There’s always coffee.